Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
