smell my finger.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
