This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
