adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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