we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
