just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
