Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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