Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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