If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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