I will die if light touches me.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize
