I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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