Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
