What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
