Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
