You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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