garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
youre lurking in front of me
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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