come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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