sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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