Need sex. Gaining weight.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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