my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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