dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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