Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
