This girl is more easily done than said...
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
