hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
