you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
