She's JV to your varsity
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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