The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
