Sry I called you an 8
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
