Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
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