fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
