I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
