we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
