Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
