I wish I could teleport
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
