umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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