she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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