If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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