If that was your dad, he is hot
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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