I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize