two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
