i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize