wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
