All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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