Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
