Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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