I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
