if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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