i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
do herpes really smell.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
