allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
