i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I've blown a few things in my day
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
