I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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