sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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