Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
