Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
