How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
