We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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