i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I looked at my own cervix.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
