Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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