3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
