Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
