Pants 0. Shit 1.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Fuck appropriateness.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
