i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
