dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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